Leaving this world

Perhaps sometime last week I read William Saletan's article on occupying virtual worlds. The article summarized the story of a Korean couple--heavy Internet users--who met online, got together, and had a sickly baby. The couple continued to play online games at Internet cafes, leaving the baby alone at home for most of the day most days. They even had another virtual baby online--one that was not sickly and was everything the couple wanted. One day, they came home to find their real baby dead.

Saletan argues that while the couple may have been culpable for the death of their real child, the increasing power of the virtual worlds we create cannot be underestimated. Every time we check these virtual worlds get better and better, and all the time it gets easier and easier to be drawn into them and to wish to stay in them. And this effect is not limited to MMORPGs and other video games; he says, "Every time you answer the phone in traffic, squander your work day on YouTube, text a colleague during dinner, or turn on your TV to escape your kids, you're leaving this world."

The plain truth of this assertion was apparent to me when I first heard it, but then last Saturday, after my tutoring appointment, I decided to stick around for a while before driving to my next destination. I fired up the web browser on my mobile phone and started to read articles (funnily enough the majority of my time was spent on Slate). When I ran out of articles to read, I decided to begin my drive. At first, I wondered why I felt so drained--I felt as if I traveled hundreds of miles to get where I was. Then I realized, in a way, I kind of did.

Song in my head: Matisyahu, "One Day".

Skip rope

I bought myself jump rope today, and up until now it still sits there, waiting for me to put it to good use. (Or, in this case, sitting on my shoulder--like I'm wearing it as an aiguillette.) It smells a bit too much like plastic, but it seems usable. I will have to try using it after my post.

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: Hotdog, "Bongga Ka Day".

Changing up

Today I walked in the morning instead of at night as I have been accustomed to doing. It was a refreshing change of pace. I don't have to worry about coming home at an ungodly hour, but now that worry is replaced by the worry of arriving at my next destination (be it work or school) on time. I think it's a fair trade-off.

So now what's keeping me busy is writing songs, besting the other me at Sketchup, and work. I hope that next semester I can get back into the school groove.

Song in my head: Gerry and the Pacemakers, "I'll Be There".

Selflessness

Today, as I sat down in front of my computer, I had the brilliant idea that I should record a song or two that I've written recently so that I don't forget the lyrics or arrangement so easily. But just as I completed testing my recording equipment (really just my 9-year-old computer running today's Linux and a microphone attachment) I get two requests for help. One was to help build a teapot on a 3d modeling program. The other one was to help edit a piece of fiction. Weighing my options, I asked myself, "Should I work on my stuff first, or should I help the ones who asked for help?"

Needless to say, it is now almost four in the morning, my voice has left me without me ever singing a single word, and I have finished building a kettle and is now starting on editing the story.

I think that right there is cause for a pause. I just can't say no to people. It's a streak that I have lived with since I can remember. Why help yourself when you can be helping someone else? I keep telling myself that I should be more careful in choosing who to help so that I can make sure that I have time for things that are important to me (like homework, my hobbies, etc.). But somehow, when I turn to the things I do for myself, I keep thinking, "Perhaps I can do this later, I'm still going to be around, right?"

Right?

Maybe. Anyway, it was fun to make the teapot, and even though I am a bit sleepy I will attempt to make inroads with the chapter. Perhaps it's the tutor/teacher in me that wants to keep helping.

Thanks for reading. And Happy Mothers' Day to all the mothers.

Song in my head: Jim Jones, Ron Browz, feat. Juelz Santana, "Pop Champagne".

A note concerning friendship

As I sat here, I realized that one of the most valuable things in the world is a person's confidence or trust in another. Why? Because it's so hard to build yet so easy to lose. I guess this is the lesson that the past few weeks has been trying to teach me.

Song in my head: Kanye West, "Paranoid".

Are we there yet?

I really really wanted to go walking tonight, but I didn't because I forgot my shoes. So before retiring for the night (or morning, as it were), I placed my sport shoes in my car.

Overall, I think I've grown a lot as a walker/jogger. I seem to have found a good cadence and a good method, and I've stumbled upon a darn good circuit, one that is not too short, always interesting, and is well-lighted. Hopefully I will find the time tomorrow to do it.

I do have other things to do, you know.

Song in my head: Nickelback, "If Today Was Your Last Day". Hey, if you heard it upwards of 9 times, it'd be in your head, too. ^_^

Seventeen syllables, No. 72

The rain remembers
A song, perhaps, and taps the
Beats on my windshield.

Seventeen syllables, No. 71

The plastic wrapper
Crunches in my hand, but the
Rice cracker's long gone.

Seventeen syllables, No. 69

Clicks to my thumb say
That the camera is now
Both empty and full.

Seventeen syllables, No. 63

It's just as if the
Skater outside grinds on the
Pavement of my ears.

Some space station windows...

Song in my head: Miley Cyrus, "See You Again."

Seventeen syllables, No. 56

The pickup-hitched boat
Sails, leaving a rainwater
Wake on black concrete.

Automotive jungle

Just came from work, and finally had lunch at the Outlets. To me, then, at least, it is weird to come upon such a packed food court.

I value the stability that having a job (maybe I should say jobs) gives me. Fact is, yesterday I was finally able to buy all my books for all my classes. ^_^ It keeps me busy, so that I don't have to be alone with my thoughts all the time, which historically is not the best thing for me anyway. I truly believe that it's a blessing from God that I'm able to do both the things I love to do and the things I have to do.

The last day to voluntarily withdraw from Colleague was yesterday. That means I'm stuck with these classes!

I'm excited that three of my side projects are nearing completion. Hopefully all goes well. I think I have 13 haiku left to write. So here's to getting things done. In contrast, I haven't walked all week... I have to do something about that. Maybe tonight.

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: Kenny Loggins, "For the First Time". I have to play this in front of some discriminating executives. Hope it goes well.

So it's like chess, but it's in space...

I'm finally putting the finishing touches to my board game, and now I'm trying to get the word out as much as I can, so much so that I'm even telling my students at hte Stairwell about it. It's kind of crazy; this is one of the first side-projects that is finally coming to fruition! I wonder what the public would think of it.

I'm glad I'm getting a lot of hours at work, but there's got to be a point when you say, "Enough." I don't know when that time is.

This year is already turning out to be a turning point of sorts; finally I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I haven't been digging, but there are times when I can afford to catch my breath. Now if only I can be a lot better with my time... ^_^

Thank you for reading.

Song in my head: Death Cab for Cutie, "I Will Follow You Into the Dark".

Seventeen syllables, No. 51

At the hallway, the
Child chases the rolling coin
A little early.

All right, on to the Winter ones. One more season to go. ^_^

The flow of communication

You know, you would think that I've already learned from my mistakes. Apparently not. I kind of wrote some things that maybe it was not a good idea to say in my email correspondence with one of my dear friends. The question to me was innocent enough: "What about you?" referring to how I am doing romantically.

Maybe I should have just lied and said that I was fine with being single. Maybe. But instead I launched into a tirade that probably should never have happened. I think what I did that day was I complained about the right things but to the wrong person. After all, what power did she have to correct my situation? I should not have relied on her to fix my problems for me. I should always be the one to do that.

So here I am waiting in electronic silence, not really knowing just what effect my words have had on my friend. I hope she sees this and realizes the regret that now accompanies my previous communication. I hope that she understands.

It really shows how little I have learned in the past year. Maybe this year will be better.

In other news, I'm overwhelmed with students at the Stairwell, but I guess that it is favorable that the learning center is seeing a lot of business, not the least in the aspect of my paycheck... ^_^ It will soon need to expand, though... for the sake of all students involved.

Song in my head: James Taylor, "Fire and Rain".

Seventeen syllables, No. 49

Streetlight paints the tree
Yellow above, black beneath;
Excess drips on grass.

Seventeen syllables, No. 47

In my hands, a small
Piece of shimmering ocean
Like pink notepaper.

Straightedge

I don't consider not being an alcoholically-inclined party animal a bad thing.

Today a whole cadre of my comrades from the old Collective got together for the birthday of the Fabulous One. An impressive array of us was in attendance, including some people I was surprised to see there. Naturally, Freshwater masterminded the beverages (as is the custom of Stud Life and hereafter) and a majority of them were alcoholic. I showed my face, joined in the laughing loudness for a short time, and then Jesse, Gogo, and I headed for Kmart.

Sure, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to imbibe on the level that my friends do. But I guess I enjoy driving around much much more. ^_^

One of the tutors at the Stairwell is taking a two-week leave, which means I am looking good to replace him for his hours on Saturdays. If I take them all, that'd be eight more hours of work (and pay) I can get. But now I come upon a conflict that I never thought would ever happen--my work conflicting with my school. You see, I signed up to present during the Language Arts Conference next Saturday, and yet only an hour later I would have to go to the Stairwell to do my replacement shift.

At least I have a week to agonize over it. My growing pile of homework has to be done immediately. ^_^

Thanks for reading, and see you later.

Song in my head: Michael Buble, "Home".

P.S. I hope you would get to see this to fruition--I am posting this message from my shiny new Windows Live Writer gadget. OK, here goes nothing...

Who really knows what goes on in the mind of a monkey

Truer words have yet to be said this week. ^_^

My classes and work are in full swing, with their usual difficulties and dramas that I have become accustomed to over the semesters. I finally feel like I have a definite schedule, though the time I leave the house is still largely dictated by my brother. I also notice that I am halfway through my Summer haiku, well in advance of my deadline (21 September). The thought that I will soon be busy with some of my other projects excites me a little bit.

Never thought that a straw-type hat would be branded as gang-related. ^_^ But we shall see how I manage.

And I finished the card. I hope it says what I want it to say.

Looking around at my room at this point in time, I get the distinct impression that it is time for moving on has come, and that I have been making big strides in that regard since this Summer. There are things in my room (like unopened wine bottles, a naked Rubik's Cube, and stacks of paper everywhere) that are now older than my current attention to them--had a few of these things were to be irrevocably lost, I would look for them for a few days, but then give up and feel blessed for a tidier room. I'm looking at a pink folder that contains bank statements from 2002 onwards, and I know that there are some more in one of my drawers. Why do I keep them around? Will I ever get around to matching them against the mountain of receipts going back to that time in the red shoebox in the other corner?

There's another thing I know is in my room, but right now its view is hidden by the very high ledge it is sitting on. It's a small "world clock" with two independent clock faces, and two other faces which used to be less independent than they are now. ^_^ I don't think there is a proper way to get rid of something like that, you know? Even if it were to turn up missing, its mere absence would remind me of the thing itself, so in the end I would accomplish nothing by disposing of it. So, even though it has ceased to function, there it is in an unseen corner of my room, collecting dust.

My teacher for the class Modern Japanese Novel (a very interesting class) said something about the philosophy called phenomenology, which claims that objects and facts are meaningless unless viewed through your experiences with that object or fact. This claim fits in with that two-faced clock. The only person I can ask about the value of that clock is myself, and in this case I say that it is worth more than to be thrown out.

Maybe a major cleaning of my room is not a bad idea. ^_^ We'll see if we can follow through with that thought.

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: Charles Wright and the Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band, "Express Yourself".