Selflessness

Today, as I sat down in front of my computer, I had the brilliant idea that I should record a song or two that I've written recently so that I don't forget the lyrics or arrangement so easily. But just as I completed testing my recording equipment (really just my 9-year-old computer running today's Linux and a microphone attachment) I get two requests for help. One was to help build a teapot on a 3d modeling program. The other one was to help edit a piece of fiction. Weighing my options, I asked myself, "Should I work on my stuff first, or should I help the ones who asked for help?"

Needless to say, it is now almost four in the morning, my voice has left me without me ever singing a single word, and I have finished building a kettle and is now starting on editing the story.

I think that right there is cause for a pause. I just can't say no to people. It's a streak that I have lived with since I can remember. Why help yourself when you can be helping someone else? I keep telling myself that I should be more careful in choosing who to help so that I can make sure that I have time for things that are important to me (like homework, my hobbies, etc.). But somehow, when I turn to the things I do for myself, I keep thinking, "Perhaps I can do this later, I'm still going to be around, right?"

Right?

Maybe. Anyway, it was fun to make the teapot, and even though I am a bit sleepy I will attempt to make inroads with the chapter. Perhaps it's the tutor/teacher in me that wants to keep helping.

Thanks for reading. And Happy Mothers' Day to all the mothers.

Song in my head: Jim Jones, Ron Browz, feat. Juelz Santana, "Pop Champagne".