Proofreading a legend

Today I bought the Classic NES Series version of Legend of Zelda, and I am welcoming the almost impossible challenge. If you needed any proof that gamers in the 80s are more skilled than we are today, just insert this cartridge into your Game Boy Advance.

I did notice something, though, that was different. If you refrain from pressing the Start button at the title screen, the game proceeds to tell you about the "Legend of Zelda". It's a short legend whose gist is as follows: the prince of darkness steals the Triforce of Power; Princess Zelda, hoping to keep him from getting the other Triforce (of Wisdom), shatters it into 8 pieces, and is herself captured; and Link, the controllable character, must reassemble the Triforce and defeat the prince to save the princess. Sounds easy, right?

Well, when I first saw this game played (on an NES emulator), the text went like this:

MANY  YEARS  AGO  PRINCE
DARKNESS " GANNON" STOLE
ONE OF THE TRIFORCE WITH
POWER.    PRINCESS ZELDA
HAD  ONE OF THE TRIFORCE
WITH WISDOM. SHE DIVIDED
IT INTO" 8"UNITS TO HIDE
IT FROM " GANNON" BEFORE
SHE WAS CAPTURED.
  GO FIND THE" 8"UNITS
  " LINK" TO SAVE HER.

When I fired up my Classic NES Series GBA cart and looked at the same text, this is what I saw:

LONG AGO,  GANON, PRINCE
OF DARKNESS, STOLE THE
TRIFORCE OF POWER.
PRINCESS ZELDA OF HYRULE
BROKE THE TRIFORCE OF
WISDOM INTO EIGHT PIECES
AND HID THEM FROM GANON
BEFORE SHE WAS KIDNAPPED
BY GANON'S MINIONS.
LINK, YOU MUST FIND THE
PIECES AND SAVE ZELDA.

Here are images of the Original Legend, and afterwards the Classic (Revised) Legend.

Different! Obviously, there were obvious flaws in the original text--the name of the prince of darkness has changed from "Gannon" (a spelling that never caught on) to "Ganon", the grammar was much improved, and the idiosyncratic quote marks were removed.

However, upon some reflection, I decided that the "revision" was not perfect. The most radical change in the new revision is the loss of urgency of the message. The original message says to "Go find" the 8 units, Link, to save her, but the revision just says that we "must find" the pieces. Also, I think the revision changed things that really didn't need changing. For example, it adds the detail that it was Ganon's minions who kidnapped Princess Zelda. This may or may not have been the intent of the original version (perhaps Ganon did it himself).

So, I decided what anyone with some proofreading experience and a couple of minutes of time would do: I created my own proofreads of the Legend. They are shown below.

LONG AGO,  THE PRINCE OF
DARKNESS,  GANON,  STOLE
THE  TRIFORCE  OF POWER.
PRINCESS  ZELDA  DIVIDED
THE  TRIFORCE  OF WISDOM
INTO 8  UNITS TO HIDE IT
FROM GANON,  BEFORE  SHE
WAS CAPTURED.
 LINK! FIND THE 8 UNITS
 TO SAVE PRINCESS ZELDA

The above was my first attempt. In this I tried to veer not too far off from the wording of the original legend, for example, keeping the words "units" and "divided" the same. I also sought to retain (and maybe even amp up a bit) the urgency by saying "Link! Find the 8 units" in this version.

MANY YEARS AGO GANON THE
PRINCE OF DARKNESS STOLE
THE TRIFORCE  OF  POWER.
PRINCESS  ZELDA  HAD THE
TRIFORCE OF WISDOM.  SHE
HID IT BY BREAKING IT IN
8 PIECES,  BUT  SHE  WAS
TAKEN BY GANON'S FORCES.
 FIND THE PIECES, LINK,
    AND SAVE ZELDA.

This second proofread, instead of trying to keep the words of the original, tried to keep the spoken cadence, or rhythm, of the original. The pauses occur more naturally on this one, but I had to sacrifice absolute correctness to keep it in the 24-character line limit. For example, I had to say "breaking it in/8 pieces" instead of "into/8 pieces" which would have been more correct. I also commit the act that led me to denigrate the Classic rewording--I attributed the capturing (here Zelda was "taken") to Ganon's "forces". However, where my first attempt had lots of "holes"--unnecessarily large spaces in order to justify the text, the second attempt was more pleasantly dense.

What do you think? Could you do better? Hermeneutics on a short video game text--hey, so what? How else would you have spent your half an hour? ^_^ The rules are: 1) Don't change the story! 2) You have 10 24-character lines to work with (a total of 240 characters, or roughly one and a half SMS text messages), 3) it should look good with all caps. Submit your answers as comments.

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: Augustana, "Sweet and Low".

Prisoner of war

Right before I slept a few nights ago, a clear picture came to my head. It was of a deserted North Korean intersection, with impeccably drab edifices flanking the perpendicular rivers of asphalt. In the middle of the intersection there stood erect a female traffic guard, looking straight ahead. She was smartly dressed, the white belt crossing her sea-blue blouse gleaming white in the unforgiving Sun, the unforgiving proxy of the Dear Leader's commanding gaze.

What would it be like to kiss her?

Would that set her free?

How silly of me to think that! Of course not... it wouldn't set her free. It would imprison me.

Hey, I didn't say the picture made sense. ^_^

In other news I think I haven't decided on a hobby to spend time on this summer, but perhaps SHIFT 2 would be a good candidate. It has taken up at least half an hour of every session I spend in front of my computer. Go check it out, and once you get the gist, come back here and try this level my sister and I collaborated on:

A080Z502125211233212A0522Z0Z10Z10ZAB10Z5Z210ZA03133110Z5213251251C005Z1522416012210Z33112C0050131C005013222Z5Z210Z10Z10ZAB5011210Z10Z6122161211602Z0Z5124210Z5Z15224153Z10Z5311210Z612114024153Z5324210Z10Z60Z23ZC004133210Z122516021150ZC006Z10112153Z10Z10Z10Z31131C0020Z10Z5Z210ZA05Z14Z210Z41122B0Z0225110Z10Z10Z70ZC006012110Z10Z52112B0Z52Z10Z10Z322515311210Z10ZC0053221C0030142311221242132451524510045110Z5211210Z31141A0321220013130122C0090451004514015210Z10Z312417122100Z132223312210ZB045100Z

Anyway, before you load the code, make sure to remove the spaces.

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: Usher, "Love in This Club".

P.S. Also, the CC is a lie.

Chess--what about you?

Can you beat the Rozerem beaver in chess? I did--and much to my surprise, I might add. ^_^ I have never considered myself to be any good in chess, but I guess I can surmount a beaver in the beginner level.

I feel another diversion coming along... play a few hundred games with a progressively stronger computer, and post the results here. ^_^

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: The Beatles, "You're Gonna Lose That Girl".

Like a sudden alignment of planets--

Today I spent some time with Madge playing some pool. I haven't played it for ages, but I was glad to realize that I am just as poor at it as I was when I first started. ^_^ But pool is one of those things where if you aren't having a good time, you might as well quit. So it was quite a favorable bellwether that Madge and I played four games, much to the hilarity of both of us. "That's got to be the most fun I've had playing pool," she said.

Hey, I can't take all the credit, can I? I mean, I can't help but laugh at a game where you take turns hitting balls with thin sticks. Again, if you're not having fun, why are you still doing it? ^_^

Then there was some FFFFF afterwards. I didn't know you could walk up Happylanding Road, albeit with much exertion!

Here's to more matches in desolate pool halls. And score one for the random guy in a bike, wearing a black hoodie and Pringles in his pocket.

Thanks for reading.

50 Cent, featuring Lupe Fiasco, "Touch the Sky".

Broken packages

I'm having a lot of fun with Linux. ^_^

The trick to Scrabble is scoring as many points as possible with as few tiles as possible. I played three and a half straight rounds of such, and, while I consistently placed third out of four, I felt that I'm a lot better at it now than when I last played it (which was years ago).

I'll need to find work for the summer. Save up a little for next semester.

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: Regine Velasquez feat. Andrew E., "'Di Bale Na Lang".

Simulation

When I was younger, I used to imagine that my life was a simulation--not the real thing. Whenever I looked around, I imagined that it was all a big movie production and I was on a set, and everyone around me was paid to appear there, and everything was a prop. I constantly tried to find evidence of this--every time I visited some new place, I quickly looked around the backs of buildings, checking whether "they" have had enough time to build a whole building just for me, or else just left the fronts of the buildings finished, propped up from behind by wooden planks. The fact that I never did see any prop buildings didn't really console me; it just increased my wonder at how complete and "big-budget" this production was.

Other times I imagined that my life was a video game, an ultra-realistic simulation of what life would be like as a nine-year-old living in a suburb in Metro Manila. But that was not as extensive as another storyline--that I was really not human. That I was really a cybernetic being that was planted into the Philippines by a shadowy security agency called the Network, whose aim it was to foil diabolical attempts to take over the world. I had continuous neural contact with an operator named "Rick", and a secretary named "Wanda", who orchestrated excuses whenever I was going to be missing for a mission. Now being missing from school for a mission--that was something I never was actually able to orchestrate myself. But that would've been fun, too. ^_^

I don't know what led to that thought process. I have no idea why I thought that my life imitated art. Looking back now, I think that by keeping to myself instead of playing at the playground with my friends, I became somewhat detached from reality... nevertheless aware of it, but feeling as if I was not a participant in it. It gave me a different kind of grounding than what my friends really did... and I think it's another reason that I'm still alone at this time.

That's not too bad, though; in fact it's shiawright. Understanding why you are a certain way goes a long way towards deciding whether a change would be either good or bad.

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: Styx, "Mr. Roboto".

P.S. I just found out that at one point in time, Bobby Flay's girlfriend was Stephanie March. Yeah, one of the past ADAs from Law and Order. We can all hope for a comparable station in life. ^_^ Oh, well.