Non-cold water is
Unthinkable beneath this
Mealy, hardtack Sun.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Illuminate the "no"s on their vacancy signs
My room is a mess, but curiously there seems to be more space in it than there was yesterday. In the morning I met up with the other Imaginary Friends, and after a walk on the beach, we kind of regrouped as a band. It was nice to be together, in one piece there, sitting on the sand and trading stories and tunes. (For his part, Jesse recommended me a really good "imo"-message song by DCFC that we can cover, and Elmo helped me with the old-school island jams.)
I think that the biggest thing I have to remedy for this year is the impression people seem to get that I am not willing to be as helpful as it is possible for me to be. I really thought that over the years my personal feeling of responsibility towards the groups the belong to--most importantly my family--has grown in leaps and bounds; however, when I attempt to extrapolate what others think of me, I always seem to fall short. I don't mind being labelled as a "dreamer"--really, I actually like the ring of that. ^_^ But if with it comes the conclusion that "this guy just doesn't care for such and such thing that he belongs to," well, I'm going to have to correct that.
It must be true, then, that ability is not the last thing about an assigned task. It's the follow-through, or the final implementation.
The calendar I bought myself in the beginning of the year is really helping me focus on what needs to be done. I am glad I am getting into the habit of looking in it and writing things down on it. With a (qualitatively) heavy semester ahead of me, I will need every advantage I can muster.
Wish me luck. And in exchange, I wish you luck during the semester.
Thanks for reading.
Song in my head: Andrew Gold, "Never Let Her Slip Away". Oh, and the title-line reference will be the next entry's headsong. Watch out for it.
I think that the biggest thing I have to remedy for this year is the impression people seem to get that I am not willing to be as helpful as it is possible for me to be. I really thought that over the years my personal feeling of responsibility towards the groups the belong to--most importantly my family--has grown in leaps and bounds; however, when I attempt to extrapolate what others think of me, I always seem to fall short. I don't mind being labelled as a "dreamer"--really, I actually like the ring of that. ^_^ But if with it comes the conclusion that "this guy just doesn't care for such and such thing that he belongs to," well, I'm going to have to correct that.
It must be true, then, that ability is not the last thing about an assigned task. It's the follow-through, or the final implementation.
The calendar I bought myself in the beginning of the year is really helping me focus on what needs to be done. I am glad I am getting into the habit of looking in it and writing things down on it. With a (qualitatively) heavy semester ahead of me, I will need every advantage I can muster.
Wish me luck. And in exchange, I wish you luck during the semester.
Thanks for reading.
Song in my head: Andrew Gold, "Never Let Her Slip Away". Oh, and the title-line reference will be the next entry's headsong. Watch out for it.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Somewhere in the darkness
I don't know what it was about where I slept (or at least tried to sleep ^_^) yesterday. It was a velvety dark and warmly gloomy night (whatever that means...) as I sat within view of the sea. Sometimes when the wind whipped up the right way, I was even able to smell it. The white tops of the waves were small but it was due to distance. It was so peaceful, bordering on the eerie, actually.
And I was ready. I had a guitar and some paper to write on.
About two hours later, I woke up with a start. I looked up from where I sat. The night was still as dark, and the division between sea and sky remained shrouded. But now there was a completed song on a piece of paper, and another almost done. It was a moment: I haven't written anything in verse for the longest time, and for me to be able to come up with these songs kind of confirms me in a significant way this year.
Soon I'll type them out and store them somewhere safe. I hope my bandmates receive these songs warmly, at least.
Thank you very much for reading.
Song in my head: Leann Rimes, "But I Do Love You".
And I was ready. I had a guitar and some paper to write on.
About two hours later, I woke up with a start. I looked up from where I sat. The night was still as dark, and the division between sea and sky remained shrouded. But now there was a completed song on a piece of paper, and another almost done. It was a moment: I haven't written anything in verse for the longest time, and for me to be able to come up with these songs kind of confirms me in a significant way this year.
Soon I'll type them out and store them somewhere safe. I hope my bandmates receive these songs warmly, at least.
Thank you very much for reading.
Song in my head: Leann Rimes, "But I Do Love You".
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Speed test
Sometimes, it's not the speed at which you get things done; it's the actual things themselves that you get done. Today is a classic example of such an axiom: out of the six things I wanted to do today in terms of "errands", I was only able to do 3. Poor planning contributed to the noncompletion of the other three. All I can say is, I have my work cut out for me if I want to succeed in reorganizing.
In better news, it looks like a good semester, and the wind comes into my Plantation bedroom with the crisp coldness that it always greets me with. I don't know how much power consumption I now save by not running my airconditioner (I have lost count, having done it for almost a year now), but I have to say that it's one of the first lifestyle changes I was successful in doing. Now my airconditioner is on as an exception, not as a rule.
I almost cannot wait for the semester to begin. Almost. ^_^
I heard from my Chinese penpal today, via email. I was happy about that, but it entailed poring over the online Chinese Dictionary in order to decode much of what she said. Or maybe that's a good thing? ^_^ All I know is, I'm getting rusty at this! I'll need to practice more.
OK, that's it for me. 謝謝你閱我的網誌!
Song in my head: Yes, "Owner of a Lonely Heart". Now this one really was in my head all weekend!
And before I forget, I'd like to invite you to take a speed test of your own, which was the inspiration for the title, anyway. Are you really getting broadband throughput rates? (No, it's not a scam... ^_^)
In better news, it looks like a good semester, and the wind comes into my Plantation bedroom with the crisp coldness that it always greets me with. I don't know how much power consumption I now save by not running my airconditioner (I have lost count, having done it for almost a year now), but I have to say that it's one of the first lifestyle changes I was successful in doing. Now my airconditioner is on as an exception, not as a rule.
I almost cannot wait for the semester to begin. Almost. ^_^
I heard from my Chinese penpal today, via email. I was happy about that, but it entailed poring over the online Chinese Dictionary in order to decode much of what she said. Or maybe that's a good thing? ^_^ All I know is, I'm getting rusty at this! I'll need to practice more.
OK, that's it for me. 謝謝你閱我的網誌!
Song in my head: Yes, "Owner of a Lonely Heart". Now this one really was in my head all weekend!
And before I forget, I'd like to invite you to take a speed test of your own, which was the inspiration for the title, anyway. Are you really getting broadband throughput rates? (No, it's not a scam... ^_^)
Friday, January 4, 2008
High resolution
I was conversing with Kim tonight, mainly on nothing at all, when she asked me whether I made any resolutions this year. It gave me pause, but when I was ready to answer her I found that she has gone offline. The answer still fresh in my head, I have decided to instead respond on this public forum.
The reason I haven't made any New Year's Resolutions in the past years is simply that I felt that I have not had the wherewithal to stick with them through the entire year. It was quite an unfortunate time I had last year, having bad things happen, but more importantly than that, I very often felt sorry for myself last year. I could not even fathom any self-improvement at the time. My healing leg prevented me from accomplishing many of the things I hoped to do in 2007. And my deflated self-esteem made me unable to do much else after that.
You shouldn't get the impression that I was depressed. I don't think I was ever depressed in the last year; I was merely severely limited, I should say.
But I did make--and keep--a resolution back in 2007. I resolved to keep the wrapper to every double cheeseburger from McDonald's I ate last year. Sure, it was both meaningless and pointlessly stupid, but the point was that it was easy. And sure enough I was able to carry it through the whole year. I will count the wrappers tomorrow.
And I guess I am making a resolution for 2008 as well, and it is thus: Whenever I can do more than one thing, I resolve to do the more useful and beneficial things first. I purposefully left it a little vague so that I can interpret for myself what it means for something to be useful and beneficial. This year I want to finally stanch the horrible gash in my side wherein I leak copious amounts of perfectly good time. I've had this for years now, but I believe that it is not yet too late to correct myself.
One of the priests (I cannot remember who anymore) said last year around this time, "The difference between a wish and a resolution is that a resolution is both sensible and possible to achieve." I only got one resolution, but I recognize it as a real resolution, one that would undoubtedly be difficult to carry out (heck, I'm breaking it right now; I could be sleeping! ^_^) but something I can certainly hope to achieve this year.
What about you? Any resolutions from out there?
Thank you very much for reading.
Song in my head: Ambrosia, "Biggest Part of Me". A really hopeful song, which I hope reflects my outlook this year.
The reason I haven't made any New Year's Resolutions in the past years is simply that I felt that I have not had the wherewithal to stick with them through the entire year. It was quite an unfortunate time I had last year, having bad things happen, but more importantly than that, I very often felt sorry for myself last year. I could not even fathom any self-improvement at the time. My healing leg prevented me from accomplishing many of the things I hoped to do in 2007. And my deflated self-esteem made me unable to do much else after that.
You shouldn't get the impression that I was depressed. I don't think I was ever depressed in the last year; I was merely severely limited, I should say.
But I did make--and keep--a resolution back in 2007. I resolved to keep the wrapper to every double cheeseburger from McDonald's I ate last year. Sure, it was both meaningless and pointlessly stupid, but the point was that it was easy. And sure enough I was able to carry it through the whole year. I will count the wrappers tomorrow.
And I guess I am making a resolution for 2008 as well, and it is thus: Whenever I can do more than one thing, I resolve to do the more useful and beneficial things first. I purposefully left it a little vague so that I can interpret for myself what it means for something to be useful and beneficial. This year I want to finally stanch the horrible gash in my side wherein I leak copious amounts of perfectly good time. I've had this for years now, but I believe that it is not yet too late to correct myself.
One of the priests (I cannot remember who anymore) said last year around this time, "The difference between a wish and a resolution is that a resolution is both sensible and possible to achieve." I only got one resolution, but I recognize it as a real resolution, one that would undoubtedly be difficult to carry out (heck, I'm breaking it right now; I could be sleeping! ^_^) but something I can certainly hope to achieve this year.
What about you? Any resolutions from out there?
Thank you very much for reading.
Song in my head: Ambrosia, "Biggest Part of Me". A really hopeful song, which I hope reflects my outlook this year.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Happy New Year
Happy new year to all of you out there.
I write this in the Plantation, hours after the family and I return from Seaside where the big fireworks display happens customarily. This is the first year we are able to capture the event on video, and there we were, our hard disk camcorder pointed fastidiously upward, as we shared in the yells and other racket in front of the old Ypao Beach Store (now a restaurant).
I am tired. Now that in itself is not unusual; I find that my most hectic time of year is the Advent/Christmas season. Music is in full demand during the proceedings of these holidays. But now I'm more tired than I was last year. I conked out after only one Carolling night, and the only reason I was able to show up for the fourth night was that I left the house with that express purpose. And now as I write this I have a slight pounding in my head, which tells me that I should end this post right quick and get some sleep.
Earlier in the week I was finally able to write some Christmas cards to my far-flung friends. I wanted to start some sort of tradition with myself, as a way of remortaring and strengthening those paper bridges I built (and perhaps to start some new ones). I don't know. Half the people I invited never came forward with their snail mail addresses, which says two things about our current culture. One, why mail it out when you can email/MySpace/Friendster/Txt it? Gone are the magic of the closed envelope and the expectation of the carefully-written word inside. Two, the Internet is rife with people we do not know who want to get to know us so that they can take our money. Perhaps they erred on the side of caution and took me for one of these schemers.
It doesn't matter, really. I'm not sure whether my handwriting is widely readable, anyway. If anything else my Holiday wishes should shine through as clearly as a bell, in 10pt Verdana/Arial/Georgia font on a glaring computer screen in the dead of winter. Right?
Hopefully.
So, in wishes expressed most clearly by the style sheet applied by your browser of choice, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and have a safe and hopeful New Year.
I for one am partied out. I screamed my heart out Seaside as the incendiary blasts pounded in my chest. I shall go get some sleep in my Moon-chilled room in the Plantation.
Thank you very much for reading.
Song in my head: Tom Jones, "It's Not Unusual". What a catchy song! Gets the job done in less than two minutes.
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