Half-machine

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know... these dispatches are getting sparser. But I'm still here.

To tell the truth, I am not as focused as I would like to be. In fact, I am certain that I was much more focused as a junior in high school than I am now. I think I have relaxed too much, and I don't know how to spring back up.

It just feels as if I am unable to do anything at all, that any actions I am taking in order to further myself and those around me (chores at home, schoolwork--rather the lack thereof, my health, etc.) are being forced upon me. I came upon the conclusion that I've more or less felt like this for almost as long as I can remember anymore. A few minutes ago, when I realized this, I was very puzzled, but now it's like I do not know the correct way to react to that revelation.

What puzzles me further is the fact that I have so many open side-projects, many of them languishing just short of being completed. Can it really be called creativity if the creations are not complete?

So here I am. Still waiting for input, I guess.

Song in my head: Lil' Wayne, "A Milli".