Unofficial withdrawal

Something I hope to never hear again. ^_^

I watched a movie with some friends tonight. Well, actually, there was only one friend--Kim--and the other three I met for the first time tonight. But I guess they are friends at the time of this writing. ^_^ We watched Stardust, and I remember cheering out loud at the part when the main guy finally gets the courage to do what we have been wanting him to do since the beginning of the movie. It took him a week to do it? It took me much longer.

You know, I never would have thought that I would see Kim leave. But in a sense, I guess we all have some sort of idea what life requires of us. And her life requires her to seek new horizons. The way I see it, the horizons are all the same.

I am sleepless again, just one day after the Weekend. I don't ever want to forget what I learned in it, but it is only now that I'm realizing how much I have to go through. When I ended the weekend, I expressed my happiness that I have passed the weekend program. But a staff member asked, "But are you ready for what's out there?" He moved away before I can say my answer out loud: "That question will take a lifetime to answer."

I am sleepless again. I am really confused... it is like I want to break down and cry, but I can't. There's no macho upper lip reason behind it, either. Because really, what is the use? I can't cry because I don't think my problem is solvable by me alone. So what do I do? I've been sitting in one place, silently, staring at my wall, or my window, or my ceiling. It was good that I found something to do: finally place all my loose notes from the semester so far into their own notebooks. Nothing is as therapeutic as order.

I can't believe that tomorrow I'm going to the store to pick something out to send Kim off with.

I can't think.

Song in my head: Survivor, "The Search is Over".