Shorn

I had a haircut today at that place people get a haircut when they're short on change but high on patience (and a nose that is difficult to offend). I've had my hair cut there almost exclusively this year, simply because I like the illusion that I am saving money, and also because it's close to the Plantation.

When I take a haircut, I make it a point to smile at myself in the mirror at least once in a while. I want to try on the emerging hair with the expression I would like to wear the most often. The stylist did not seem to notice, so I guess it was all right.

Then I had a thought: I'm gonna need a haircut again in a few months. I think that realization caught me because the stylist today was the same person who cut my hair the last time. And I think I was even wearing the same shirt. Why should I cut my hair? If it's going to grow back anyway, why even fight it? Stuff like growing hair... that's like entropy, man, nay, like the "kipple" in Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?. What's the use?

Of course, when I walked out of the double doors, the late afternoon wind ran between the strands of my now adequately-thinned hair and over my scalp. That's a feeling I haven't had in, well, a month.

So that's why.

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: Lenny Kravitz, "Are You Gonna Go My Way".

Random variable

Has anyone ever thought of just how poetic a name the "Jaws of Life" is? I mean, it's a device with a pair of jaws which seeks to prolong the life of victims trapped in twisted cars and whatnot.

Song in my head: Jack White and Alicia Keys, "Another Way to Die".

Special character

My mother has a habit of whipping out the Magic Mic and singing karaoke on random nights. Tonight was one of them. Naturally, after I ate dinner, I joined her for some of the songs, and we noticed an oddity: a song that I know as "Longer" by Dan Fogelberg was masquerading under the title "Lonely". We clearly saw the opening lines of the song "Longer", so I decided to select it, and thereby discovered a song we thought didn't exist in our magic mic.

The revelation brought to mind my very short stay in Saipan last weekend. A couple of brothers was driving me towards the hotel, and as we were talking story I realized that Saipan was filled with green stuff and buildings. If it wasn't being taken over by vegetation, it was the site of some commercial center or hotel or store.

It wasn't until someone asked me about it when I touched back down onto Guam that I realized that I didn't see any houses when I was there. Now that I think about it, I only traveled on two of the main roads of Saipan and most likely the houses are along the minor roads. But Saipan has a grand total of three main roads, and it didn't seem possible that I didn't see any places to stay there.

That, of course, warrants greater scrutiny. Perhaps when I take another trip there, I should stay at someone's house. But there is no denying it: Saipan was picturesque. However, I didn't think that I would ever say that a place was too "green". Perhaps I just got used to how gray Guam has become.

At least now I know what Kim sees whenever she hops there every week or so.

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: Stevie Wonder, "Overjoyed".

Half-machine

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know... these dispatches are getting sparser. But I'm still here.

To tell the truth, I am not as focused as I would like to be. In fact, I am certain that I was much more focused as a junior in high school than I am now. I think I have relaxed too much, and I don't know how to spring back up.

It just feels as if I am unable to do anything at all, that any actions I am taking in order to further myself and those around me (chores at home, schoolwork--rather the lack thereof, my health, etc.) are being forced upon me. I came upon the conclusion that I've more or less felt like this for almost as long as I can remember anymore. A few minutes ago, when I realized this, I was very puzzled, but now it's like I do not know the correct way to react to that revelation.

What puzzles me further is the fact that I have so many open side-projects, many of them languishing just short of being completed. Can it really be called creativity if the creations are not complete?

So here I am. Still waiting for input, I guess.

Song in my head: Lil' Wayne, "A Milli".

Finish

Perhaps I have been too stubborn in insisting that time will march on no matter what I do.

Song in my head: Justin Timberlake, "Like I Love You".

It's quiet... too quiet.

Today what woke me up was the "Gimme Gimme" ringtone I had in my phone (which, as I am reflecting on it now, I was quite fortunate to set to "ring" last night). Had the phone stayed "silent" that time, I would have missed work. And of course, that would have been disastrous.

Now, this was not what I was planning on writing about, but the more I reflect on that simple action of setting my cell phone to "ring" last night, the more amazed I was about the "butterfly effect" I am observing wround it. Had I not been awakened by that phone call, I would certainly have come late to work, which would have been completely my fault. I would have been censured... heck, I think that once word had got to my boss of such a thing happening I would have been fired on the spot. I wouldn't be writing on the blog today; instead I would have answered a few emails a bit more enthusiastically, and I would have gone to sleep worried about where I would get one more semester's worth of tuition from.

But the action that prevented all that--my setting my phone to "ring"--was comparably insignificant. It was very much an afterthought. I mean, when I went to bed last night I knew I had to be at work at a certain time, but I was confident that I would wake up on time. Now that I reflect upon it, I did not have a conscious reason to set my phone to "ring". I was thinking to myself, "Hey, wouldn't it be cool to hear someone text me in the morning?"

It leads me to an observation: small actions can have big effects. Now, this is something you (and most certainly I) already know, but never before has it been demonstrated for me with such force.

So pay attention. Is that the lesson here?

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: Jim Brickman, "Destiny".

P.S. Actually, the title refers to an observation my coworker made about the Plantation. It is very quiet here. In fact, the point was driven home for me this morning as well. I woke up to the cell phone ringtone, and when I got off the phone, realizing that I had to leave the house now, without any hesitation, I realized how quiet it was.

There was nothing to be heard other than my thoughts.

Silence is a double-edged sword.

Day # 8766

Here's to 8766 more. ^_^

Song in my head: Jazmine Sullivan, "I Need You Bad". Too bad it is not in my range. ^_^

Paper crane folds

I cannot believe that it has been a month since I have posted here. I don't attribute to this my reduced use of the computer; in fact in the last month it has increased. But maybe there hasn't been anything to write about. That isn't true, either; I could've spent dozens of posts solely on what I remember of the last month. So in short, I don't know why I have missed so many days.

I learned how to make a paper crane from a square piece of paper.

Anyway, two things that happened today finally sent me to the notepad. The first one was a clever turn of the phrase that I came up with while I was making IDs for what seemed like eternity. I expounded on smiling at a picture ID thus:

Smiles are like milk: they are sweet, but they turn rancid very easily.

The person who was having her picture taken asked, "Did you come up with that just now?"

At a gathering I attended tonight, I came across a girl I first saw at another party perhaps a year or a year and a half ago. I remembered very little about her save her face and the fact that she couldn't hear. The first time we met there were physical games at the party, so there was very little need to speak.

So tonight as I passed by her, I instinctively waved to her and said "Hi". She did not seem to notice, and I thought nothing more of it as I sampled the food. But I had occasion to pass by her again, and this time I came closer, intending to let her see the hand that I had held up. But this time she took the rest of the steps towards me and encircled me in her arms.

Finally understanding, I did the same and held her close.

The moral to all this is one man's hello is another man's hug. Tonight, I held my deaf friend a lot closer than I would have been comfortable with had it been another person (even a girl) that I knew just as well. But I could have done very little to otherwise show her affection on the level of my normal cordial "Hello" combined with an upraised hand, which she had (I surmise) only a dim inkling of.

It would have worked, but the hug was better.

Perhaps I should save that as a quote as well? ^_^

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: Robin Gibb, "Boys Do Fall in Love".

Seventeen syllables, No. 75

Ocean, your wrinkles
Look smaller from here; that's why
Sun visits nightly.

Seventeen syllables, No. 74

A myriad cotton
Clouds stampede serenely past
Me at Seat 2A.