Special character

My mother has a habit of whipping out the Magic Mic and singing karaoke on random nights. Tonight was one of them. Naturally, after I ate dinner, I joined her for some of the songs, and we noticed an oddity: a song that I know as "Longer" by Dan Fogelberg was masquerading under the title "Lonely". We clearly saw the opening lines of the song "Longer", so I decided to select it, and thereby discovered a song we thought didn't exist in our magic mic.

The revelation brought to mind my very short stay in Saipan last weekend. A couple of brothers was driving me towards the hotel, and as we were talking story I realized that Saipan was filled with green stuff and buildings. If it wasn't being taken over by vegetation, it was the site of some commercial center or hotel or store.

It wasn't until someone asked me about it when I touched back down onto Guam that I realized that I didn't see any houses when I was there. Now that I think about it, I only traveled on two of the main roads of Saipan and most likely the houses are along the minor roads. But Saipan has a grand total of three main roads, and it didn't seem possible that I didn't see any places to stay there.

That, of course, warrants greater scrutiny. Perhaps when I take another trip there, I should stay at someone's house. But there is no denying it: Saipan was picturesque. However, I didn't think that I would ever say that a place was too "green". Perhaps I just got used to how gray Guam has become.

At least now I know what Kim sees whenever she hops there every week or so.

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: Stevie Wonder, "Overjoyed".

Unofficial withdrawal

Something I hope to never hear again. ^_^

I watched a movie with some friends tonight. Well, actually, there was only one friend--Kim--and the other three I met for the first time tonight. But I guess they are friends at the time of this writing. ^_^ We watched Stardust, and I remember cheering out loud at the part when the main guy finally gets the courage to do what we have been wanting him to do since the beginning of the movie. It took him a week to do it? It took me much longer.

You know, I never would have thought that I would see Kim leave. But in a sense, I guess we all have some sort of idea what life requires of us. And her life requires her to seek new horizons. The way I see it, the horizons are all the same.

I am sleepless again, just one day after the Weekend. I don't ever want to forget what I learned in it, but it is only now that I'm realizing how much I have to go through. When I ended the weekend, I expressed my happiness that I have passed the weekend program. But a staff member asked, "But are you ready for what's out there?" He moved away before I can say my answer out loud: "That question will take a lifetime to answer."

I am sleepless again. I am really confused... it is like I want to break down and cry, but I can't. There's no macho upper lip reason behind it, either. Because really, what is the use? I can't cry because I don't think my problem is solvable by me alone. So what do I do? I've been sitting in one place, silently, staring at my wall, or my window, or my ceiling. It was good that I found something to do: finally place all my loose notes from the semester so far into their own notebooks. Nothing is as therapeutic as order.

I can't believe that tomorrow I'm going to the store to pick something out to send Kim off with.

I can't think.

Song in my head: Survivor, "The Search is Over".

Who really knows what goes on in the mind of a monkey

Truer words have yet to be said this week. ^_^

My classes and work are in full swing, with their usual difficulties and dramas that I have become accustomed to over the semesters. I finally feel like I have a definite schedule, though the time I leave the house is still largely dictated by my brother. I also notice that I am halfway through my Summer haiku, well in advance of my deadline (21 September). The thought that I will soon be busy with some of my other projects excites me a little bit.

Never thought that a straw-type hat would be branded as gang-related. ^_^ But we shall see how I manage.

And I finished the card. I hope it says what I want it to say.

Looking around at my room at this point in time, I get the distinct impression that it is time for moving on has come, and that I have been making big strides in that regard since this Summer. There are things in my room (like unopened wine bottles, a naked Rubik's Cube, and stacks of paper everywhere) that are now older than my current attention to them--had a few of these things were to be irrevocably lost, I would look for them for a few days, but then give up and feel blessed for a tidier room. I'm looking at a pink folder that contains bank statements from 2002 onwards, and I know that there are some more in one of my drawers. Why do I keep them around? Will I ever get around to matching them against the mountain of receipts going back to that time in the red shoebox in the other corner?

There's another thing I know is in my room, but right now its view is hidden by the very high ledge it is sitting on. It's a small "world clock" with two independent clock faces, and two other faces which used to be less independent than they are now. ^_^ I don't think there is a proper way to get rid of something like that, you know? Even if it were to turn up missing, its mere absence would remind me of the thing itself, so in the end I would accomplish nothing by disposing of it. So, even though it has ceased to function, there it is in an unseen corner of my room, collecting dust.

My teacher for the class Modern Japanese Novel (a very interesting class) said something about the philosophy called phenomenology, which claims that objects and facts are meaningless unless viewed through your experiences with that object or fact. This claim fits in with that two-faced clock. The only person I can ask about the value of that clock is myself, and in this case I say that it is worth more than to be thrown out.

Maybe a major cleaning of my room is not a bad idea. ^_^ We'll see if we can follow through with that thought.

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: Charles Wright and the Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band, "Express Yourself".

Spring break

It seems like a whole week passed between my last post and this one. So much has happened in the last weekend, and it will be a challenge to make this one short. But I shall try.

It has been a pretty medical weekend, what with me getting my blood checked and my leg filmed in X-ray. I hope that it is easy to send developed X-ray film to the Philippines. I was happy with what my lower leg looked like on the film, and I hope that my orthopedic surgeon would be happy as well.

I'll be aiming to stay home more. So far I'm succeeding, leaving the house only when necessary.

I was aiming to disconnect from the Internet this Spring break. Well, you know how that's turning out. Maybe Friday I'll disconnect.

The youth retreat earlier today was a lot of fun. It was the most spontaneous one I've ever been on.

That's all I have to say for now. Thanks again for reading.

Song in my head: The Pillows, "Carnivore".

Thirty soldiers

I think I've forgotten how to attend a retreat. I hope I remember before it's over.

Please think of and pray for our second year confirmation candidates who are at this moment deep in slumber (or otherwise, as experience teaches us ^_^).

Thanks for reading.

Song in my head: "Come, Holy Spirit".